Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
