you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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