Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize