Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
