you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
