if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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