She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Holy sore nipples Batman
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
