Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
