i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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