just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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