blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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