Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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