I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he was CRYING into my vagina
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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