your thong is hanging out like whoa
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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