the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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