Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize