im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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