You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
