Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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