It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
