i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
