Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
