I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
