This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
