Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
