he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
this hospital has no fireball
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
