What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize