I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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