'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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