think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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