i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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