Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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