I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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