Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
