mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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