I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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