Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
