Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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