im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
