Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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