i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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