I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
