Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
