It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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