she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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