The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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