I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
