what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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