I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
