Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
