I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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