best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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