then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Randomize
