stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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