I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
YAS. BRING CRAB.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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