4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
