It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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