You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize