Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize