we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize