I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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