I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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