This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
