Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
