No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
