went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You may now shotgun with the bride
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
