I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
