wakey wakey hands off snakey
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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