I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
