like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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