Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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