Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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