Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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