god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
