i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
