Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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