found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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